


Five Times Caleb Punches Ben, And One Time Ben Hits Back

by IBoatedHere



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4167999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time was an accident that Caleb still feels terrible about almost 20 years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time was an accident that Caleb still feels terrible about almost 20 years later.

When they were young Caleb, Ben, Anna, and Abe would spend hot summer days after finishing their chores in Caleb’s uncle’s orchards.

Abe would chase Anna around teasing her, pulling the ribbon in her hair and stealing apples from her basket. He thought it was hilarious until she would turn around to challenge him and he would take off running, usually hiding behind Ben who was 6 months younger but already 3 inches taller.

Caleb would take to the trees. Without any adults around to tell him no he’d try to climb to the top thinking that maybe he could see the ocean from there; maybe he would be the first to see his father’s ship coming into harbor.

Climbing back down was a lot easier than going up. Gravity was on his side and the closer he got to the ground the more comfortable he felt with taking risks. He’d swing one handed from limbs that were 15 feet off the ground or hanging upside down from his legs, knees hooked over the branches. He would hide out up there until Abe and Ben’s brothers would come and call them home for supper.

Caleb still remembers vividly what happened.

By the time Thomas and Samuel came calling for them Caleb was already halfway down the tree. Anna and Abe were making their way towards the edge of the trees, walking hand in hand until Thomas pointed it out and laughed making Abe drop her hand and wipe his on the back of his trousers. Caleb watched Ben walk around a few trees looking for Caleb. Caleb waited for Ben to come closer before he got into position.

What he meant to happen was to just surprise Ben. He meant to flip upside down and hang onto the branch right in front of Ben as he’s walking by. He meant to have Ben startle and then start laughing and Caleb would climb all the way down and the two of them would trail after the others.

What actually happened was this:

He managed to hang upside down but his timing was off. Ben was too close and when Caleb swung down his hand connected hard to Ben’s face. He fell back and landed on the soft grass beneath the tree. Caleb was just as shocked as Ben and just as he was about to apologize and ask if he was okay he noticed the first trickle of blood coming from Ben’s nose. Caleb’s eyes widened and Ben’s hand went to his face. When he pulled it away and saw the blood, which had started to come out more forcefully, he let out a wail that Caleb was sure could be heard in the center of town.

By the time Caleb dropped down from the tree and gets to his feet Samuel and Thomas had raced back to them and Sam was collecting Ben in his arms.

Caleb followed after repeating “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry” over and over again while Ben cried and covered his face with both hands the whole way back to town.

Ben’s mother met them at the door and he went willingly into her arms. He tried to explain but she swept him inside their home too quickly and he was too afraid to follow after. The last thing he saw before Thomas gathered him, Abe, and Anna was Ben’s mother pressing a damp cloth beneath his nose and Ben’s tear stained face.

The next day Caleb finished his chores quickly and ran over to Ben’s.

He was the yard with his father holding a bucket of grain to feed the chickens. His face was bruised and Caleb rushed over and threw his arms around his neck. The feed fell from Ben’s hands and the chickens swarmed them and Caleb apologized over and over and tightened his grip.

Reverend Tallmadge had to pick them both up together to get them away from the chickens and put them down a few feet away.  
Caleb pulled back and touched the tip of his finger to the tip of Ben’s nose. Ben flinched and Caleb started to cry.

“I didn’t mean to do this. It was an accident.” He tugged desperately on Ben’s sleeve and Ben held Caleb’s hands at his wrists.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore.”

“Are you sure.”

“Yes.”

“Are you mad at me?”

Ben smiled and shook his head.

“I’ll never do it again.”

“I hope not.”

Caleb hugged him one more time before Ben’s father sent them both on their way to play.

Carefully.


	2. Chapter 2

“C’mon, Tall-Boy. It’s time to celebrate!” Caleb throws his arm around Ben and some of the ale in the mug he’s holding splashes over and onto the floor. “My boy is going off to Yale.”

“Not for months.” He tries to escape from Caleb’s grasp but Caleb’s arm only tightens. “I’m not sure why we’re here.” 

Ben is wildly uncomfortable. It’s not like he doesn’t appreciate Caleb’s enthusiasm but he doesn’t understand why they had to ride all the way to New Jersey to go to a Tavern.   
They have one back in Setauket just steps from their doors. It doesn’t help that they’re easily the youngest people there either. Caleb has an easier time fitting in. He swears he has had a full beard since he was twelve but Ben’s boyish face is a dead giveaway. He doesn’t feel as though he belongs here. 

“Why couldn’t we have stayed home?”

“Because home…” He pauses to finish what’s left in his mug and holds out his hand revealing a palm full of coins. He turns his hand over and drops them into Ben’s hand. “Doesn’t have this.”

“What is this supposed to be?”

“This is your key to happiness. To manhood. To the rest of your life. It’s the key to getting you into room fifteen upstairs.”

Ben feels a knot in his stomach. He has a feeling he knows where this is going.

“What’s in room fifteen?”

“The prettiest prostitute I have ever seen.”

A few men standing near around them overhear and seem to nod approvingly. It makes it so much worse. He grabs Caleb by the sleeves and drags him to a more quiet corner. 

“Caleb, I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. Do you really plan on hauling your virginity with you all the way to Connecticut?”

“Would you please keep your voice down?”

“Oh, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. At least not yet. This is your chance. Now.” He pats the side of Ben’s face which is bright red. “Her name is Genevieve. I talked to her when we came in. She’s a real nice girl. Took one look at you and was practically begging. You might not even need the money. What it must be like to be beautiful. You’ll have to tell me about it someday.” He pushes Ben out of the corner and towards the stairs. 

Ben tries to push back, to get the money back into Caleb’s hand. “Please don’t make me do this right now.”

“Why? It’s gotta happen someday.”

They’re paying little attention to where they’re going in the midst of their argument. Caleb’s pushing at Ben’s chest and Ben is trying to get Caleb back to the corner or towards the door- anywhere but towards the stairs. If they had been paying attention to anyone but each other Ben wouldn’t have backed into the drunk holding a full mug in each hand. 

They both spill all over him. 

The man is taller and bigger than both of them and even Caleb, with his overflowing confidence, knows he’s outmatched. 

“Sir, I’m very sorry.”

“We can buy you another. We’ll replace them, no problem.” Caleb digs into his pocket. He might have to dip into Ben’s Genevieve fund.

Their apologies and promises don’t go very far on the man because the next thing Caleb knows the man has Ben by the shoulders and is pushing him back and Caleb reacts without thinking. He takes a swing at the guy but he’s too keyed up. He missed horribly and hits Ben instead. 

The drunken guy doubles over with laughter and Ben is doubled over in pain but over the sound of the drunk he can hear Ben cursing him out. He manhandles him out the door just in time for the drunk to catch his breath and yell something ‘about dumb kids thinking they’re grown.’

Caleb sits Ben down on the ground a few hundred yards from the Tavern and collects a handful of snow. There’s still a little left that the spring thaw hasn’t gotten to yet. He interrupts Ben’s tirade of calling him a bastard by asking him gently to remove his hands from his face. 

“Christ.” Caleb says under his breath as he presses the snow to Ben’s face, stuffing it into his nose and eye. There’s a fair amount of blood. It’s not going to slow down for awhile. “I have an arm on me.”

“I’m real happy for you.” Ben mumbles, voice obscured by Caleb’s hand across his face. He tries to flinch away from the feeling of the snow but Caleb puts his hand on the back of his head, fingers raking gently through his hair, to keep him in place. 

“You put your face right in the way.”

“You’re not seriously blaming me for this are you?”

“I was trying to defend you. It wasn’t my fault you moved the wrong way.”

“This whole thing is your fault.”

“I was just trying to do something nice for you, is all. I’m proud of you. You’ll be a Yale Man. That’s something to be proud of.”

Ben’s anger begins to fade. He can never really stay mad at him. 

“I can’t go in there again.”

“You’re telling me. I’ll never have enough money to make sweet Genevieve interested in you lookin’ like this.” He whistles low and Ben rolls his eyes. 

“What am I supposed to tell my father when he sees my face?”

“Jesus, I don’t know. Come on up.”

Ben accepts Caleb’s extended hand. 

“We’ll think of something on the way home.”


	3. Chapter 3

Caleb visits Ben at Yale as often as he can. Whenever his ship comes into harbor anywhere near New Haven he’s on the first horse he can find and heads straight for him. 

Ben is always glad to see him. He is a welcome distraction from the constant stress of school work and a warm reminder of small town life. 

Ben gets along just fine with his college friends but he’s always worried that Caleb will be bored by them. He comes to Ben with harrowing stories of the sea. Of whales that are bigger than his father’s church, terrible storms where he was certain the ship would simply tip over and slip into the sea. Men falling overboard- their rescues and their demise. 

All Ben can offer in return is what he learned in the past weeks Latin class. It pales in comparison and the only way Ben is sure Caleb will have a good time is if he takes him to the local tavern. 

Caleb hates spending time with Ben’s new friends. 

He tries but after every visit he leaves feeling so inadequate next to them. They’re going to change the world with their education to back them. Even Ben is going on to be a teacher. He’ll be shaping the minds of future generations and even though Caleb couldn’t be prouder he feels that all he can say he does is spend months with dozens of stinking men on a ship. These people are Ben’s future and he doesn’t fit in anymore. Maybe it has been a long time coming. All that’s left to do not is cut Ben loose. It’ll be better this way even though it depresses the hell out of him. Ben has been his best friend since before he could walk. Plus it’s obvious that he has no idea about any of this- he’s always so happy to see him. If it were anyone else Caleb would openly mock his joy but its Ben so he hugs him back, pats him on the face, and listens intently as Ben goes on about his classes. 

He’ll have to ease out of this. He’ll write Ben and tell him he has to be out on the boat more so he’ll see him less. A few years from now Ben won’t miss him at all. 

The tavern is crowded and Ben is relieved. He figures there has to be someone talking about something that will hold Caleb’s attention. 

All it does it make Caleb’s head hurt. He numbs the pain with whiskey. Lots of it. He can feel Ben watching him but it doesn’t slow him down. By the sixth round it’s clear that easing out of this isn’t going to happen. Everything is going to bubble over tonight. 

Two more rounds and an offhand comment about how whaling will be obsolete in a hundred years and Caleb has flipped the table and tackled two of Ben’s friends. 

It’s a blur of spilled liquor and fists and the next thing Caleb knows his ass is in the dirt outside with Ben frantically pushing his friends back from the door and telling them that he’ll take care of it. 

Caleb drags himself to his feet as the crowd retreats back inside. He gets about ten feet before Ben’s long legs catch up to him. 

“Caleb, wait.” 

There’s a hand on his arm that he shrugs off. It knocks him off balance and he stumbles, barely managing to catch himself against a tree. 

“You heard what that bastard said.”

“What? About the whaling? It’s theory. A thought. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means something to me. Can you not see that? Do you not understand that?”

“I’m trying to but it’s really hard when you’re slurring and wobbling back and forth. Can you just tell me what’s wrong?”

“You should know. You’re smarter than this, Tallmadge.”

“Maybe you overestimate my intelligence.”

Bens attempt to lighten the mood makes Caleb burn.

“This is all better than me. You’re better than me. You have to be smart enough to see that. I can see it.”

Ben has the nerve to look hurt when Caleb is the one dying inside. 

“Look at where you are; the people you’re around and where you’re going. Then look at me.”

“I am looking at you.” Ben says simply and that’s it. 

Caleb explodes with anger. Ben is too trusting. He just stands there as Caleb lashed out against him. 

He hits him, hard, and right where he means to. It’s always been one of his best qualities. He could be the drunkest man in the room but still fight like he’s stone cold sober.   
Caleb expects the look of confusion and hurt on Ben’s face. He can see that clearly behind the blood and the eye that’s already starting to swell. But just because he expects it doesn’t mean that he’s prepared for it. He almost takes it all back. Almost apologizes and tells him he’s drunk and stupid and wrong.

But Ben moves first. “That’s what you really want, Brewster? That’ what you really think?” His voice is strong and steady, full of conviction. There’s no doubt he’s a reverends son. “You want to turn your back on everything we’ve been through because you’re what- feeling out of place? You think you’re not good enough? I’ve been thinking the same thing. I’ve been so worried that you’d find me dull. But then I also thought that is ridiculous. That’s not really going to happen because you’re the closest and oldest friend I have. You’d never end that over something so petty. Are you?”

Caleb shrugs. The fight has left him. “We both knew this was going to happen.”

“I didn’t.”

“Oh, come on. You’re going to graduate, get a job, meet a nice girl and settle down.”

“I never imagined any of that without you.”

Caleb looks up at him sharply. He doesn’t want to think about what he thinks that means right now.

“Things just happen, Ben. Just accept it.”

Ben crosses his arms and shakes his head. The laugh he gives is humorless. “Fine. I hope you have a nice life doing whatever you end up doing that you decided didn’t include me.” 

He pauses and waits for Caleb to say something. Anything. Anything that will stop him from walking away but Caleb stays silent. 

As soon as Ben has turns his back and starts to walk away Caleb sinks back to the Earth. He feels empty. Like he just lost half of himself. Like he just watched it walk away. 

He lies back in the dirt. His head is resting on a rock. It’s sharp and digging into the base of his skull but he doesn’t care enough to move. He closes his eyes but the footsteps approaching and the hard kick to his ankle opens them again. 

“Get up.” 

Ben is standing over him.

“You think I’m that weak? That I’m just going to let you get away with this. You’re drunk. Talk to me tomorrow when you’re sober. Now get up.”  
It’s not a question. He’s not discussing this. He knows Ben will pick him up and haul him back to his whether is likes it or not. 

He manages to get to his feet but his first step is so off balance that Ben has to wrap an arm around his shoulder to help guide him. He mumbles something about being pathetic under his breath. 

The walk seems to take hours and Ben has to hold one hand on Caleb’s chest to keep him upright as he uses the other to work the key into the door of his room. 

He dumps him onto his bed then takes his boots off. Gently.

“You’ll make a great mother one day, Tallboy.”

Ben says nothing but rolls his eyes and the corner of his mouth twitches up, like he’s dying to say something back. Caleb takes that as a good sign. 

His room is small but neat and Ben lights another candle before he sits at the desk next to the window and dips a quill into ink. The extra light allows Caleb to see stacks of leather bound books on the table next to him. Their worn spines are labeled with words he doesn’t and won’t ever understand. He looks passed them to Ben. The shadows cast on him make the bruise forming on his eye look worse. The guilt is overwhelming. When he tries to speak his voice is raw. It leaves a scratchy feeling in his chest. 

“Hey.”

Ben doesn’t look up but his hand stills. 

“I’m sorry.”

Ben nods, just slightly, and continues writing. 

Caleb falls asleep to the sound of his quill scratching against the paper.


	4. Chapter 4

Caleb sits on the dock as he listens to Ben talk a mile a minute about joining a war that hasn’t even officially started yet. All of his words are running together as he goes on about Boston and towns he has never heard of like Lexington and Concord and a man named Paul Revere. 

It’s all too much. 

He lies back with his hands behind his head and listens to the sound of his friend’s voice, his heavy, uneven footsteps, and he’s assuming the splash that will come when Ben takes a step too far to his right and falls in which will prompt him to jump in and perform a rescue. 

Ben has always been an enthusiastic drunk. Normally Caleb appreciates it. He found it endearing but now he’d give anything for a quiet, contemplative, drunk Ben. 

“That’s why I’m leaving for Connecticut tomorrow.” 

Caleb hasn’t been listening very carefully but these words stand out. He twists his body so he can see Ben. He has a flask to his lips. 

“What’s in Connecticut?”

“A rebel camp. This is what I’ve been talking about.”

“What are you going to do there?”

“Join the cause. They’re looking for volunteers.”

Caleb stares at him.

“To fight.”

Now he laughs. “What do you know about fighting? Do you really think you could kill someone? I’ve seen you change your path to avoid stepping on a bee.”

“The bee is innocent. Besides, they’ll teach us. We’ll learn.”

“Well, what about the school?”

“They’ll find another teacher. I’m not irreplaceable.”

“That’s not….” That’s not true is what he means to say. “What will your father think?” That’s what he goes with instead. Ben is too excited and drunk to notice his falter.

“My father fought.”

“Yes and then he vowed to never fight again.”

“I’ll just have to make my own vow. Samuel is joining.”

“So you’re going to leave your father all alone?”

“He’s still plenty capable of taking care of himself.”

“Have you talked to him about this? How long have you been thinking of this?”

“Long enough.”

“Well, maybe you should give it a little more thought.”

“Caleb, you’re acting like you don’t support the cause.”

“No.” Caleb sighs and brings himself to his feet to stand in front of Ben. “Of course I do. I’ll fight as soon as they need me. What I don’t support is you running off and getting yourself killed.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know that. That’s what war is. Two sides get together and kill each other until there’s nothing left. I’m not letting that happen to you.”

Ben looks at him with wonder. “You really care.”

“Of course I do you dumb-.”

Ben ducks his head and kisses him. 

Somewhere between the panic and confusion Caleb feels peace. He enjoys it. Ben is inexperienced and awkward but he’s eager and tastes like the cheap liquor that’s in the flask. He feels warmth spread through his chest and he thinks it has to do with more than just Ben’s hand moving over his heart. 

Ben gains confidence and parts his lips a little further and the panic overwhelms him. 

He creates space by pushing Ben’s chest but Ben is overwhelmed in a different way and drunk and all he wants is to curl his fingers into the front of Caleb’s shirt but Caleb is not having it right now. He throws an elbow. It’s not meant to hurt him- and even if it was he doubts Ben would feel it anyway. This is an emotional hit. 

They stand a few feet apart, silent and stunned. When Caleb takes a step forward Ben steps back. 

Caleb feels like he’s the one that has been hit.

“Ben.”

“I’m sorry.” Ben keeps walking backwards and Caleb keeps advancing. “I’m sorry. That….I don’t know what that was but I….” He stumbles where the wood of the dock meets the earth and Caleb moves fast to help him. They both stare down at Caleb’s hands wrapped around Ben’s wrists. It takes Ben a moment to find his words. “It won’t happen again.” 

Caleb’s hands fall away as Ben turns. 

In the morning Ben isn’t at the schoolhouse. When Caleb goes to see Reverend Tallmadge he tells him that Ben left early that morning. 

“I’m surprised he didn’t say goodbye to you.”

“We spoke last night.” Caleb shuffles from foot to foot. “I just thought of something else I wanted to say.” 

He gives him a look that makes Caleb wonder if he knows. Maybe Ben got home after he left him by the water and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Maybe he told his father everything. Maybe he’s always known. Maybe everyone has and Caleb is the last to catch on.

He touches Caleb’s shoulder before he moves back into the house. 

He tries to figure out what that means the whole way to Connecticut. 

It’s harder than he thought it would be to find Ben at the camp. Apparently this army will be full of lanky, fresh faced boys. 

When he finally tracks him down he’s holding a sword and already looking like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

Ben doesn’t see him until he’s right next to him and even then he looks like he doesn’t believe that what he’s seeing is real.

“Caleb.” Ben’s eyes drop to his mouth then immediately to his eyes again. His face goes red. 

“Somebody had to make sure you don’t kill yourself.” He bumps his shoulder against Ben’s and Ben relaxes. “Now let’s go win a war.”


	5. Chapter 5

“If they don’t hang him I’ll do it myself.”

They’re watching Abe try to talk his way out of getting arrested by British soldiers. Dozens of seemingly blank pages of paper are at their feet. 

Ben and Caleb are watching from a dark alley a hundred yards away trying to figure out if they’ll need to intervene. 

Ben moves his shoulders against the brick behind them trying to get comfortable. It presses him closer to Caleb. 

“It is tempting.” He admits. “At least he used the ink.”

“That’s one thing he’s done right. How many times have we rescued him?”

“I’ve lost count.”

“You’d think he’d be getting better at it by now.”

“Mistakes happen.”

“Mistakes get him killed. Mistakes get us killed.” 

The air in the alley is warm and stagnant. The heat is made even more unbearable by Ben’s proximity. They’re pressed so close together that Caleb can feel him breathing and finds himself matching his own breaths to Ben's. He also finds it hard to focus on Abe and his actions when there are beads of sweat running down the side of Ben’s neck and disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt that he cannot take his eyes off of.

“Nothing has happened yet. Abe could still get out of this.”

Right.

Abe. 

Abe’s about to be captured, questioned, and executed while he’s staring at his best friend. 

One of the soldiers begins to bend down to pick up the papers and Abe suddenly reaches for them as well and it’s suspicious. Caleb hears one of them ask Abe what’s so important about empty papers and he knows he has to move fast. 

“I’m sorry about this.” He says as he pushes Ben out into the light of the street. 

Ben tries to scramble back into the safety of the alley but Caleb steps out as well. The commotion is enough to draw the looks from the soldiers down the road with Abe. 

“Caleb, what the hell are you doing?” Ben whispers as Caleb pushes him again.

“This man is a thief.” He yells towards them and Ben catches on. 

“I keep telling you I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

It’s not enough to make them step away from Abe so Caleb has to really sell it. 

“I’m really sorry about this.” He says quietly and has just enough time to register the perplexed look on his face before he hits him. 

That’s more than enough to get their attention and they leave Abe and start running towards the two of them. Abe scoops up the papers and takes off as Caleb drags Ben against him.

“Run.” He says and pulls him along until he’s running on his own.

The head start and Caleb’s knowledge of side streets help them to easily outrun the British and make it back to the boat. Abe is already there, stuffing papers into his shirt and boots and anywhere else he can find space. 

“What took you so long?” Abe asks as they barrel into the boat.

“What took us so long? We were busy saving your sorry ass from the hangman.” Caleb shoves him down on the bench and thrusts the oars into his hands. “Start rowing.”

“Just me? You’re not going to help?”

“I already helped you. Now it’s your turn.”

“I stalled them long enough for you to come up with that plan.”

“I didn’t know stuttering out bullshit excuses qualified you as a hero.”

“You know-.”

“That’s enough.” Ben speaks for the first time. His voice is deadly serious. “Stop talking. Right now. The both of you. Abe, start rowing. Caleb, sit down way over there.” He points to the opposite end of the boat and Caleb goes. He knows Ben well enough to know not to argue. “I don’t want to hear anything from either of you.”

“I’m sorry Ben.”

“Sorry, Tallboy.”

Ben tips his head back and pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s sore and he’s annoyed. He wants complete silence until they’re back at camp. 

They’re halfway across the sound when Caleb reaches across the boat and taps Ben’s knee. Ben looks up and at the rag that Caleb has produced from one of the pockets of his coat. It’s dirty but Ben takes it anyways. 

Their fingers touch. 

Abe and Caleb grant Ben’s wish of total silence. Abe doesn’t say anything as he pulls the boat close to the coast, hands the papers over to Caleb and heads into the woods for home. 

Caleb doesn’t say a word as he and Ben travel on horseback back to camp. Once they get there Caleb hands over the papers and Ben goes directly to Washington’s tent to share the information. Caleb decides not to follow.

After nightfall he wanders into Ben’s tent. He’s still using the rag that Caleb gave him to get the blood off his face. He’s missed a few spots and Caleb steps up to him and takes the cloth. 

“Sit.” Caleb orders gently and Ben leans against his desk.

“How do you feel?”

“I’ve definitely been better. One of these days you’re going to have to stop punching me to prove your point.”

“But it’s works so well.” Ben laughs and relief floods through Caleb. “What did Washington have to say about your face?”

“He didn’t notice.” Ben shrugs.

“What, is he blind?”

“He didn’t say anything.”

“Everything alright there?”

“Who knows? Hopefully Abe’s information will bring him around.”

The war has been hard on Ben. It makes Caleb ache. He can see it in his eyes that he’s so far removed from the boy that left Setauket. It’s a miracle he looks as good as he does. Most of the men are covered in scars and blemishes but Ben’s face is still clear and beautiful. So is the rest of him except for the scar that’s sitting just below his right shoulder. He’s sure it’s faded by now. The last time Caleb saw it was when he was peeling Ben’s wet clothes off of him after he fell in the Delaware. It was barely noticeable then but doesn’t stop him from thinking about it all the time. How close he came to losing him. Ben could’ve died in that field with the rest of his men. He knows he would’ve left. Deserted and never been seen again or been caught and hung. It wouldn’t have mattered. What’s the point of fighting for freedom when you don’t have anyone to share it with? 

He holds Ben’s face in his hands- his fingers against Ben’s jaw and splaying down his neck then back up his cheeks, wiping away the blood and sweat and dirt the best he can. Ben’s eyes close when Caleb gets close enough to feel his lashes against his thumbs. 

“There.” He says when he finishes. “You’re perfect again.”

Caleb tosses the rag onto his cot and Ben grabs his hand. Caleb is perfectly still. 

“What about you?” He holds up Caleb’s hand and he notices his own bloody knuckles. He imagines they hurt but he can’t feel is over Ben’s fingers moving over them. “Take care of yourself.” Ben drops his hand and stands up. “You’ll want to heal them up so they’ll be ready for next time.”

“Is that an order?”

Ben laughs. “Yes.”

“Well then, yes sir. Anything else you need from me?”

Tension crackles. 

Ben shakes his head slowly. “That’s all for now.” There’s more he wants to say. There has to be.

Caleb nods and takes one last look at the way Ben looks in the candlelight before he walks away.


	6. Chapter 6

The war is over. 

It’s over and Ben is tired. He has lost so much- everyone has- and he remembers learning about the ends justifying the means in his classes and supposes that he still agrees with the concept but living through it is something different. 

He can’t complain too much. They won, after all. The ring worked. No one even knows who the members are. Abe and Anna are alive on Long Island. They can live their lives free. Maybe one day Abe’s son will know what he did and be proud. Maybe Selah will know why Anna jumped from the boat and will finally understand. 

Ben stretches and tries to relieve the tension that he’s been carrying through the years. His joints pop. By all accounts he’s still a young man but he doesn’t feel it. He’s no longer the same boy he was when this started. He’ll never be that way again. He’s stronger and scarred from doing things in battle he never thought he’d be able to. 

He also never imagined that he could be this thankful to sleep in a real bed in a real room. 

He’s one of the officers that managed to find a room at the local inn and he’s itching to climb into the bed with the thickest mattress he’s seen in years. He wants to sink into the pillows and blankets and try to forget about all the horrors that he’s seen. 

He can’t even get his coat off before there’s a knock at the door and he rolls his eyes. He’s tired of talking. In the past few days he’s been to more meetings than he can count. 

He’s halfway to the door when it opens and Caleb steps inside. Ben saw him a few hours before but he’s still taken aback by him. Caleb has been through everything Ben has been through and then some. He sailed to Long Island at the end of every week to pick up letters from the dead drop, impersonated a British officer to rescue Abe after he sailed across the harbor in a submersible, and took on Robert Rogers to get a note from the king. He followed his orders, did his job, and survived. He’s a hero. A marvel. Ben’s told him this and he swears that he saw the faintest hint of a blush crawl up his neck to his ears before he slapped Ben on the back, said “You’ve got that right Tall-Boy” and moved on. 

Caleb was in this war because of him. He’s alive despite of him. If he didn’t survive the outcome of the war wouldn’t matter to Ben. It would’ve been lost. 

Caleb leans against the door and it clicks softly closed behind him. 

“Your room is a lot nicer than mine.” 

“Lock the door.” 

Caleb’s eyebrows rise. 

Ben is tired of the war but he’s also tired of dancing around whatever is between him and Caleb. He’s done with talking and worrying. He has fought and won a war with this man right by his side. They’re men of action. They both deserve to get what they want and right now he wants Caleb so much closer.

Caleb looks him straight in the eye as he reaches behind him and slides the lock shut. Then he meets Ben in the middle of the room.

This kiss is nothing like their first. Caleb is willing and pliable beneath Ben’s hands and mouth. Ben doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing but Caleb doesn’t seem to mind. Their hands are brushing over each other’s hips and chests. Tangling in hair and tracing across jaws. When they part to catch their breath Caleb’s is just as rough as his own. Ben’s fingers play with the hem of Caleb’s shirt. 

“Take this off.” He tugs and Caleb laughs.

“That an order? You know the war is over, don’t you?”

“I still outrank you. Take it off.”

Caleb pulls it over his head without another word and Ben is met with so much skin. He’s seen him in less before but in this context it’s something different. It’s unbelievable. He’s having a difficult time believing that Caleb is real and right in front of him looking like he’s ready to give him the whole world as soon as he asks for it. 

Ben would fight in a hundred wars for a hundred years if this was what was waiting for him at the end. 

He skims his hand down Caleb’s chest. He can feel his heart beating through skin and bone. Caleb is alive- heart pounding, lungs expanding and so incredibly solid. He’s never felt anything stronger. Ben feels like he could shatter at any moment. His heart is pumping too fast and his breath is too rapid. If Caleb pushes him away like he did that night in the woods he’s sure he’ll break and never recover. 

“Alright, enough admiring. Now it’s my turn.” Caleb’s lips are nipping at the skin on his neck as he pulls off his jacket. It gets stuck at Ben’s wrists but Caleb can’t be bothered now. His fingers fall to the buttons on his waistcoat while he pushes them both back towards the bed. Their hips are pressed together.

“God, Caleb.” 

He laughs into his neck then presses him back onto the bed. “Sometimes I forget you’ve never done this.”

“I don’t.” Ben is still trying to get his jacket off his arms. His waistcoat is stuck by his elbows. “It’s your fault. I spent all this time waiting for you.”

Caleb’s eyes darken as he climbs on top of him and grinds down. Ben gasps and arches up. 

“For me, huh? You should’ve told me earlier.”

“I tried years ago. You made it very clear you weren’t interested.”

“Never knew you for a quitter.”

Ben shivers as Caleb’s hands slip between the cotton his shirt and map his skin. He groans against his neck.

“So many layers, Tall-Boy.”

Ben sits up suddenly. He’s tired of his arms being caught in his clothing and not being able to touch back. 

Caleb is halfway off his lap but is still kissing him; still touching him as much as he can over and under the layers of cloth. It’s distracting and Ben struggles even more to get out of his jacket. 

“Caleb.” He sighs as one of his hands buries into his hair at the nape of his neck as the other dips below the waist of his pants. It’s tempting to lie back and let Caleb go. “Let me get this off.”

Caleb leans back to give Ben just enough room to move but Caleb’s hands begin to unbutton the front of his trousers and Ben can’t get his hands free quick enough. He flails, shaking his hands wildly to get them loose. He gets his jacket off one arm and when he moves to get the other out it becomes clear that Caleb should have given him more room. His trapped hand pops out of the sleeves of his jacket and straight into Caleb’s face. 

He falls off Ben’s lap and onto the bed, his hands covering his face. 

“Jesus.”

“Are you alright?” Ben’s hands hover over his face. When Caleb sits up again he has one eye closed.

“Right in the eye. Dammit.”

Ben laughs. He can’t help it. “That’s payback for all the times you’ve hit me.” He gently removes Caleb’s hands from his face and brushes his fingers around his eye. “Can you see?”

He blinks a few times then focuses on Ben’s now bare chest. 

“Yes.” He touches his skin- over his heart and down his sides, settling over the faded scar beneath his shoulder. “Thank the lord.”

Ben kisses the corner of his eye. “I am sorry.”

“That’s alright.” Caleb settles over him again. “You can make it up to me.” He kisses him and finally undoes the final button on his trousers and his hand disappears beneath the fabric. Ben has never felt anything like it. He’d do anything Caleb said. He pulls his mouth away just enough to speak. “Slowly.” Caleb’s hand stills and Ben whines.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

“Relax.” Caleb presses a kiss to the side of his face. “We have plenty of time.”

“Do we?”

“Of course we do. Don’t you remember? The wars is over, Ben. We’re free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really loved this prompt. I love this show and I love these boys.


End file.
